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- ‘I Was a 4-Year Queer’: 15 Straight(ish) People on Their Gay Time in College
- Straight men recall hookup experiences with other men.
- 5 Tips for LGBT Dating in College
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Keep it up, guys. The strength of Jason Collins? U mean u want to come out almost 10 years after college and when u are jobless? I proudly commuted, and I feel better off for it. Of course I also went to regional campuses and paid half tuition. I got to grow up without having to blow my life on the college years. One of my step kids commutes, and the other lives on campus many states away. Our college fund pays out the same amount for both, and the one that gets to use all that extra money on whatever he wants has a much better life overall.
Interesting how many are lusting after straight guys to the point of lamenting about it online. There must really be a difference between gay and straight men, from the gay point of view. Seducing a straight guy can be very enlightening and self-affirming, particularly to less-experienced college-age guys, because it demonstrates the fluidity of sexual experience and teaches one that their personal sexual desires gay, straight, bi, other are actually well within the norm.
There were many hot gay men for me to lust after that required very little effort or games to bed. The closest to bedding a straight guy I have ever been were with self-identified bisexuals and I felt no more enlightened with them as I did with the out and proud gay men.
My point was, why lament about it on Whisper if there are many attractive and worthwhile gay men to lust after and hookup with? Why not go for something more readily available, especially in this age of easy internet hookups?
Why base you sexual worth on the approval of heterosexual men? It was hell for the next 4 years. Every time I get a fundraiser letter from my university, I ask them why I was the one that was forced to move from my dorm instead of the perpetrators. The visuals here are contrived. The dialog is set-up, virtually no mention of academics and socializing other than sex. My friends were straight guys who were older than the undergrads generally, when I wanted action I went off campus. Was offered sex once by a close straight friend and said no. What is this fascination with straight men? Was wondering if anyone would catch this.
Now he is getting much attention for being a proud gay man. Not that it making up for it, but I hope graduate school was better as well as your life now? Your full comment alone was sexy and so reassuring. Thank you!!!!!!!!!! Times have changed. In my time everyone was closeted and I went to a college in a small town for two years. I liked soldiers, sailors, mechanics and construction workers. I saw too many straight guys use gay boys for sex and money then dumped them for a girl.
I wanted the guy who was having sex with me to think of me and not a woman. Long term closeted relationships in those days were a must. AIDS was barely being talked about, and no one knew exactly how you could catch it — or protect yourself. It was impossible to get accurate information.
- Real LGBT Students Reveal What It's Like to Date and Hook Up in College!
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Condoms were nowhere to be found. I was totally freaked out each time. Many, many are gone.
But there are a few of us who still made it through. And for that I am very grateful. So, if I could go back to college with everything we know now…it would be a different story! I grew up in a small country town and started college in There was still plenty of debate at that time about whether or not being gay was a mental illness or perhaps a failure to psychologically develop past adolescence, etc.
These theories were proposed by supposedly learned men and other role models teachers, coaches, clergy, etc. While I understand that times have changed and there is much more awareness and acceptance of diverse sexuality today, there are still many young men from conservative small towns going off to college and feeling excited about re-inventing themselves.
I was a good student, believed in education, and welcomed college as a learning experience — not just in terms of the curriculum but also in terms of living on my own, making new friends, developing my adult personality and discovering who I truly was sexually. At 18, my sexual experiences consisted of masturbating, jacking off with a few guys down at the creek and feeling up my senior year girlfriend under her clothes.
Yeah, I know that most guys have more experience at 18 today, but in my town in my experience was fairly normal. I lived in the dorms my freshman year and was well-liked enough to hang out with the other guys in their rooms smoking dope, drinking beer and listening to music.
‘I Was a 4-Year Queer’: 15 Straight(ish) People on Their Gay Time in College
Many of these guys did not and do not now identify as primarily gay. What I learned was that sex between men was not unusual or shameful at least between us 2. What I learned was that I was not damaged, that I had the same desires as many men do, and that some men act on these desires.
I learned all of this in about 9 months during my freshman year, and was free of those societal constraints from then on. I have had sex with many lovely men since then, the vast majority of them openly gay. But I do still enjoy intimacy with hetero guys occasionally, when the situation is right. It is the gift of intimacy between men. And, if you trust the Kinsey scale, most men are somewhat sexually fluid anyway.
Why base my sexual worth on the approval of heterosexual men?
Straight men recall hookup experiences with other men.
Those are not my words. I am clear on my sexual worth and have been since I was I am not worthy of only other gay men, I am worthy of all men who care to share emotional and sexual intimacy. And yeah, I want the approval of hetero men. I also want the approval of all of society — male, female, gay, straight, bi, other. What a gift: A journey that pretty much mirrored my own except, the damaged part. This will be a snap in most urban areas, but you may have to do a little more research in smaller towns.
The pay-off is worth it, though: You can also put your dating life on the fast track with the help of online dating services. Students looking to use these sites to improve their love life will find that, although there are plenty of LGBT-only online dating services, some of the most popular sites among heterosexual students are actually just as effective. According to Consumer Rankings , Match. You can also try Gay. If you want to stick to other students, try DateMySchool. Therefore, you may need to venture off campus to find a potential date.
5 Tips for LGBT Dating in College
Try going to local gay bars or other gay-friendly establishments to strike up a conversation with potential matches. You can also join a group or club outside of school to widen your social circle a bit. Even if you just make new friends, those friends may be instrumental in introducing you to other potential dates outside of your student population.
Heterosexual students have it easier in many ways, but one of the most significant advantages they have is the basic cultural assumption that most people are heterosexual. In these situations, LGBT students are advised to pay attention to the subtleties of your personal interactions.